Our state is officially in a state of emergency. Reading that did not help my anxiety one bit. I don’t hate snow. I hate that it effects travel and the feeling of being trapped that it creates. Two weeks ago, the 3 inches we got was hard enough to get through. Today we are suppose to get 10 inches. As you can imagine, my PTSD symptoms are bad today. So what helps?
I had no clue. All I could focus on was the feelings of panic and wanting to drive as far as needed to rent a hotel room where it is not snowing. I’m good at coming up with extreme solutions but I try hard not to act on them.
The only place I know of to go is down on my knees. It’s the only coping skill I have that helps. I really am that broken, that I can’t help myself through anything. I just create more fear for myself when I look for my own solutions. I went to God for help and I want to share how good he is to us.
My prayer went something like this: Help!!!
So he brought the scripture Psalm 139:17-18 to my mind. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I were to count them, they would out number the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.
He gave me the thought to go enjoy the snow by thinking of each snowflake as a grain of sand. To focus on that visual of trying to count every snowflake as a way to count how much he thinks about me and values my thoughts.
God is so good to us, he always helps us! So we will go outside. Maybe the littles will even build a snowman. That’s kinda like picking up a bunch of God’s love in a tangible form and I can use as much as I need, it’s not going to run out. 10-12 inches worth of snow is like a whole gazillion grains of sand.
Let it snow!